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:iconbrain-tree: More from brain-tree


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Submitted on
July 31, 2013
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Back porch, smoke wrapped,
alzheimer's from aluminum -
when pillars were corinthian
my brain felt nice,
like babies' mouths on breasts.
wish someone would have whispered -
held me down on hardwood floors -
"your heart is not an empty nest".
Title from the song Deep Sea Diver, by Grizzly Bear.
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:iconfake-theory:
i love the last line!
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:iconbrain-tree:
brain-tree Aug 6, 2013   General Artist
Thank you, I appreciate your feedback! :)

It's certainly the focal point.
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:icontristancody:
TristanCody Aug 1, 2013  Student Writer
the second and third lines were powerful with that slant rhyme, Andrew. Great choice by doing that. 

I like the depth you gave that last line of dialogue. It says a lot and shows us what you're thinking/feeling as time moves forward. 

Another wonder, my friend. 
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:iconbrain-tree:
brain-tree Aug 1, 2013   General Artist
Thank you, very much.  It helps to know that people feel where I'm coming from, especially when I post to the "Emotional" category.
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:icontristancody:
TristanCody Aug 2, 2013  Student Writer
For sure. I think it has to do with your word choice, my friend. You say these greatly profound things while using simple everyday things stringed together. I hope that doesn't sound too weird, but that is what I have seen. 
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